Anchored Not Anxious

Everyday Quandaries - Guest Elise Tegegne

• Terri Hutchinson • Season 3 • Episode 37

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What if canceled plans could become unexpected gifts? In this heartwarming episode of Anchored Not Anxious, host Terri sits down with author Elise Tegegne to explore how trust transforms our response to life's curveballs.

Elise, author of "In Praise of House Flies: Meditations on the Gifts in Everyday Quandaries," shares how her mother's "adventure mindset" shaped her ability to welcome disruption with curiosity instead of anxiety. From a shattered dream of teaching in France that led to unexpected love and purpose in Ethiopia, to discovering the profound connection between canceled flights and Sabbath rest, Elise reveals how remembering God's faithfulness opens us to His better plans.

Together, they dive deep into practical wisdom about:

  • Cultivating an adventure and curiosity mindset when plans fall apart
  • The trust-centered practice of true Sabbath rest
  • Transforming unplanned silence into sacred space
  • How fear can become a doorway to deeper intimacy with God
  • Anchoring ourselves in God's Word during uncertain seasons

Whether you're facing unexpected changes, struggling with control, or seeking to deepen your trust relationship with God, this conversation offers hope-filled perspective and practical encouragement for finding the divine gifts hidden in everyday quandaries.

Buy here book at Calla Press, Amazon, or Barnes & Noble.

Read more of her words at elisetegegne.com or reach out on Instagram @elisetegegne.

Terri:

Welcome to Anchored Not Anxious, and the monthly series Why she Trusts God Here, guests and I swap stories about life and living in a trust relationship with the Lord. I have special guests, Elise Tag Gain the author of In Praise of House Flies Meditations on the Gifts in Everyday Quandaries. Elise is a mama editor and writer with published articles at Risen Motherhood Christian Parenting and Encourage Among others. In addition to serving as the Director of Communications for Missions Organization, synergy Francophone, she also writes a monthly blog which inspires readers to cultivate eyes for the divine in their own daily difficulties. After teaching at a mission school for four years in Ethiopia, she now lives stateside with her husband, an energetic 4-year-old. Welcome to the show, Elise.

Elise:

Thank you so much, Terri. I'm grateful to be here.

Terri:

Well, let's get right to it. There's a chapter in your book on the quandary of cancellations. You tell the story of a wintry snowstorm, a canceled flight, and your elation. My first thought was, as I read that, wow. You welcome the disruption. Truly, that would not be my first reaction, but I imagine it's very freeing not to be stressing in the face of

Speaker:

Altered plans.

Terri:

So where does trust fit in here and how did you cultivate this mindset or way of being?

Elise:

So it started out with my parents. I think having that modeled for me really helped me in my adulthood to respond to unexpected situations with a sense of trust and anticipation. So my mom, when she ha was faced with canceled plans, she looked at it as an adventure. When the lights went out, we got out the kerosene candle or kerosene lamps, and we would have an adventure. Um, releasing control kind of allowed a sense of expectancy and what will God do in this situation? So now as an adult. Learning to trust God in all circumstances, even when things are unexpected. Some things that have helped me is I think of the verse from Corinthians, taking every thought captive. So when I'm tinted to be anxious in a situation. Turning that into trust. So part of that trust is remembering who God is. So remembering he is good. He's a good father. He knows my needs intimately better than I do. He is love himself. His ways are higher than my ways. So re remembering who God is. And then the other thing is remembering hi his faithfulness in the past. So when things have gone, haven't gone my way in the past, I've seen how he's been faithful. And how his ways have been better. So in the book I talk about when I was a senior at university, I was about to graduate. I was a French major, so excited about the idea of living in France, teaching English in France. I had my mind full of visions of cobblestone streets and romantic strolls. By the sin, and I was so certain that this was the path that God had for me. I was a great student. I had all my awards. I had all the letters of recommendation, and that door closed and I was shocked. I was really disappointed. Oh, but God opened up another door to teach French and Ethiopia, which was. Completely off my radar, but that ended up being a great gift, an inexpressible gift. And I wouldn't be who I am, were it not for that. Um, so I met my husband in Ethiopia, um, my best friend in Ethiopia. Um, I've seen how he has used those hard times to make me into who he wants me to be and all of that unexpected. Plan ended up being far better than I could have ever imagined.

Terri:

Huh. Wow. That is, um, well first of all, I just, you know, kudos to your mom for, giving you that, that adventure mindset and. Cultivating that. let's see what God does. I, I think that is amazing. But you know, your dream of going to France and then moving with God in trust to go to Ethiopia, which. You have to think it's probably a polar opposite of France and you're like, okay, and God had so many gifts for you there, I'm a huge proponent of, looking back on the past of how God showed up in your life and you said it, remembering his faithfulness and I'm sure you go back and, and revisit that and continue to use that as a. Trust marker. A hope marker.

Elise:

Yes. When I was in Ethiopia, there was a teacher I used to teach at a mission school and she said a comment that I'm, I'm, I don't know what God is doing, but I'm curious and that posture of curiosity, what will God do? He's at work even though I don't see it, he's at work. What will God do? He's been faithful in the past. I'm curious, what will he do in the future?

Terri:

Adventure cur curiosity. those are great words

Speaker:

It's a great mindset as you approach a situation that really kind of knocked you off your feet.

Terri:

Or shattered your feet, totally shattered your dream of going to France.

Elise:

Yes, yes. It was shattering. Yes. That had something better.

Terri:

Well, the other thing I wanna talk about in that, uh, chapter on cancellations is you, uh, writing about Sabbath. I find the connection between cancellations and Sabbath very thoughtful. So, from your book in Hebrews Sabbath is equated with coming to an end of an activity to put away or to cease. And I personally view Sabbath not as a day, but as a space and. I equate entering Sabbath to trying to enter a room with a five inch thick wooden door with a cast iron lock. It's a place not easily entered, but I believe the key to opening that door is trust. So Elise, please share your thoughts on the Sabbath trust relationship. Mm-hmm.

Elise:

I love that image of the door in the locked room, and as this idea that it's a hard. It can be hard to enter that because I think it's a practice and it's something personally I'm still growing in, and I think it will be a lifelong practice of growing into what it means to honor the Sabbath. Um, but for me, as you've said, trust is really at the heart of the Sabbath. I, for me, I look at it as a time of, I'm not, I'm not cultivating, I'm not producing, I'm not earning. I'm resting in the God who provides. Uh, in the book I mentioned that the Israelites, every seventh year would let their fields life fallow. And this was a chance for not only ecologically for the land to renew and be able to produce, but also for the Israelites themselves to, to trust in God. Um, so there's the word, um, they called it "shemittah". I think is how you pronounce it, which means release. And I think it's connected too, to this idea of what has to die. So I'm, I'm releasing, I'm letting die this dependence on myself, the, my anxiety to make a living, um, the, the control of provision and I'm recognizing God is the one who provides. Um, it's ultimately up to him. It's ultimately I'm in his hands and. Resting on that day is a way of embodying that. Um, so some of the things I also stop or let die is physical and mental. So the physical is. Not checking email, taking a step away from texting as much as I can, taking a step away from housework, meal prep news, checking the news, um, and also this idea of a mental Sabbath. So my husband and I, like I said, it's a practice. We're still working on it, but we try to catch each other when we start to go into shop talk or, oh, this is what I am envisioning for the week, or trying to problem solve something about our work. Um, just having, having a mental break as well. And that's where the taking every thought captive can kind of come in again. Like when that thought comes of anxiety about the week, um, I, I bring it to God. Give it to him and leave it there. And then when those things die, other things can grow and flourish in their place. So delight. So time to, we, we like to go get ice cream on Sundays. Um, we like to, I like to read novels. I enjoy French press, coffee, um, time with the Saints. So when we let some things die, beautiful things can grow in place of that.

Terri:

Hmm. That is a beautiful thought. Let some things die so other things can grow in its place. Oh, I, that is definitely something that I need to practice more. Overall, I would say, do I take, you know, an eight hour Sabbath? For me, I have, I literally have, would have to schedule it. And I think for some people that's exactly what they have to do too. It's like, this is non-negotiable, this space, this, this time, you know? And, ceasing would allow beautiful things to grow. I think as you enter Sabbath space, you, you don't bring anything into Sabbath. You put away everything, it's so funny how our thoughts just start. Up and we have to sort of pull 'em back and say, Nope, not, not right now. This can wait. it's like we're not in control of our mind sometimes. Isn't that weird?

Elise:

? I think it's a huge, it's a battlefield and that's a huge piece of. The, the rest, Sabbath, rest and trust is the, the mental and taking those thought captive thoughts captive before we spiral. Um, I, I am. Practicing this and learning and struggling and wrestling. Um, and through the book I talk about each of the chapters as a, as a wrestling, as an exercise, as a practice. So these are some things that, um, we'll be practicing throughout our time on Earth, I think.

Terri:

Oh, definitely. Absolutely. Alright, well let's move to the topic of, um. Waiting, unlearned efficiency and unplanned silence. So Sabbath is a planned silence, but there's plenty of unplanned silences that enter our life. What is a woman missing if she resists or rejects waiting or, resists unplanned silence.

Elise:

I think there is a sense of rejecting a gift from God, because in those moments, it's an opportunity to attune ourselves to God and to have a posture of listening. What do you have for me in this moment that I didn't plan? Uh, what do you, what do you want to speak to me? And it's also an opportunity to reset. When I am waiting in line, kind of calling to mind, I'm attending to you, Lord, you are here. You are with me. You are present. Um, it's a, it's an opportunity to reset a kind of practicing the presence of God, a prayerful sense of God. And it's really hard because I tend to be the Martha always wanting to act and do. But Christ challenges us. To that the only necessary thing is, is sitting and enjoying the presence of God as Mary exemplifies. Um, in the book I mentioned Henry Nen, who has influenced my conception of prayer a lot, and I have a quote here that, um, has helped me a lot. He says, we always seem to have something more urgent to do and just sitting there. Doing nothing often disturbs us more than it helps, but there's no way around this being useless and silent in the presence of God belongs to the core of all prayer. Mm-hmm. And I love that idea of uselessness. It does feel useless many times to be silent before God, um, to not bring anything to the table, but. That's what grace is. God brings everything, um, to us, um, and we recognize that in silence.

Terri:

Yes. Um, I've had a few, unplanned silences, in my life. There was a time where I had quit my job because of a, a moral dilemma, but I didn't really talk to God about that, and so I literally sat in silence in my home on the couch sofa. No emails, no texts, no, no communication whatsoever to any of my attempts to get a job. And it, it was brutal. I thought, what have I done? Over that forced Sabbath, that unplanned silence. I, I came closer to God mm-hmm. And There wasn't anything but trusting him. And so, I look back now on that time. And the gift was that I did get a job that turned out to be the best position I was in nursing research. I couldn't have manifested it on my own and, it was all because I let God. Do, and I just sat back I cherish those, eight months, eight long months.

Elise:

Wow.

Terri:

That's so, and um, but I cherish that time all right, well, let's look at your chapter on fear. Uh, you know, fear comes in a variety of packages. We, we fear the undesired outcome, uncertainty, unmet goals, not being enough. We fear, silence, rejection, loneliness, all of it seems enormous and ominous. Fears can become so huge, and that makes us feel really small. So control, planning, manipulation is what we do to attempt to steer the present or the future to try to. Silence the fear within us, but you write that protecting what we consider valuable, invites fear. In fact, you say God wants to flip our script from fear to faith. Mm-hmm. So, uh, elaborate on, on that concept.

Elise:

Yeah, so in the book I ta I talk about Moses before the burning bush. Moses is one of my favorite people in the Bible because he struggled with fear and speaking up like I do, but God still used him. Um, and in the book I talk about how God doesn't. Condemn Moses's doubt at the burning bush. He doesn't condemn his fear, but God instead engages him in conversation. So the fear that Moses was experiencing, um, in incited a sense of intimacy, it awakened and engagement with God. And when we're feeling fear, experiencing fear, it's an opportunity. To look to God, to ask him for help, to, to have a dialogue with him. Um, in this way we can let the fear lead to faith, um, in greater intimacy and connection with God. So Moses' doubt and weakness throws God's power into relief. So when we come to God feeling small and broken, we can remember again, kind of going back to who is God. God is good. He is all powerful. He is sovereign and. When we look at how big God is, all of those big fears diminish, and even as we diminish before the presence of God, we can trust and rest in him. Um, one of my favorite Psalms is Psalm 1 31. Oh Lord, my heart is not lifted up. My eyes are not raised too high. My, I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me. But I have calmed and quieted my soul like a ween child with its mother. And I think about when we're experiencing fear, uh, when we re remember that God is good, we can rest in him.

Terri:

Yeah. I, um, it's all about remembering who you are to God. And who God is to you, who he is to you is provider protector. And sometimes, fear tries to tell us that he's absent or, uninvolved or, disinterested. And those are lies. Uh, we may not be able to see it until after we pass through it, but, God is there. I mean, he, he gave his son for us so that we could have that relationship, restore the relationship. He went to the ultimate means to, to make sure that we are connected Absolutely. I recognize the ease it takes to believe we carry the weight of our weight of the world on our back. the burden feels so much larger than we are, and I think of that woman who feels like life should be easier, but it's not the woman who's lost her identity because she's managing the lives of others. Um. The woman who's wrestling with finding answers to the suffering around her, she's trying to keep up with the nonstop change at work, with relationships, launching adult children, her body image health. What would you say to the woman listening that wants to embrace God as the biggest force in her life?

Elise:

I would say. Bring it all before the Lord. Invite him into all of those aspects of your life. Let the fears and the anxiety lead to faith. Let the pain turn to prayer. When those anxious thoughts come, it's kind of an indication to pray. It can be a reminder to pray. Um, as we've talked about, God is present. He is near, he is loving. He hears, he knows what we need and we, he asks and invite us to. Bring these things before him. He delights in that when we bring our troubles before him, it shows our trust in him. Kind of going back to the idea of trust, and then I think another key is, is anchoring yourself in the word. Yes, we're talking about anchored, not anxious. I think a big part, what you need to be anchored in is the word and in truth, and the world is full of so much fear, anxiety, so many lies, so many things turning us away from what is good and right and true. So being constantly renewed through the word is essential to. Remaining anchored in the seas of, uh, uncertain times.

Terri:

Hmm. Beautifully put, Elise. Well, I really wanna thank you for sharing these personal stories and lived experiences of trusting God. And I have read your book and agree with your publisher that this book, in Praise of House flies, meditations on the gifts in everyday quandaries is a message of hope, joy, and redemption. And you, Elise, are a delightful messenger. For those listening, you can find her book online at Amazon, Barnes and Noble and Cala Press Read more of her words on her website. elise tega.com or reach her on Instagram at Elise Tega. That's E-L-I-S-E-T-E-G-E-G-N-E. And as always, thank you for listening.

Speaker:

Check out the podcast episode description for.

Terri:

The links to Elise's. website, her Instagram, as well as the links to the Amazon. Also, check out the Anchored Not Anxious YouTube channel for videos, and look forward to the new website that's in the planning stage. Until next time.

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Terri L. Hutchinson

Host