Anchored Not Anxious
Do you love God, but anxiety still has a seat at your table?
You're not alone — and you're not failing your faith.
Anchored Not Anxious is a podcast for women navigating anxiety, overwhelm, and the sometimes painful journey of learning to truly trust God. Hosted by Terri Hutchinson — registered nurse and Bible teacher — each episode blends evidence-based insight with practical, honest faith. Expect real conversations, clinical wisdom, and the kind of spiritual depth that meets you in the hard places.
Because trusting God isn't always easy. But you don't have to figure it out alone.
God is with you. God is for you. You can be anchored — not anxious.
Anchored Not Anxious
Pet Parent Help For the Grief That Starts Before Goodbye
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If you've ever found yourself pre-mourning an ailing pet who's still alive, you're not imagining things—you're experiencing anticipatory grief.
And if you've had someone tell you that losing your dog "can't compare" to losing a human? I'm so sorry. Grief is grief, and there are no qualifiers.
In this episode, I'm sharing my story of losing Bosco during one of the loneliest seasons of my life, and why pet parents carry a unique kind of burden that most people don't understand.
You'll learn why anticipatory grief actually happens and practical ways to care for yourself through one of the hardest goodbye you'll ever make.
Whether you're watching your fur baby decline or still processing a loss from years ago, this conversation will meet you with the validation and tools you need.
https://therapyforpetpeople.com/blog/coping-with-anticipatory-grief-pet-loss
https://www.dvm360.com/view/understanding-anticipatory-grief-in-pet-owners
https://www.lapoflove.com/blog/pet-loss-support/how-to-deal-with-anticipatory-grief
https://www.aplb.org/anticipatory-grief/
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My husband and I adopted Bosco, a black and white terrier beagle mix, at 6 months old from a local rescue. Bosco became our second family member while Heidi, the schnauzer, was our first. It seemed like a good idea at the time but those two got into a lot of trouble together.
One day after work, as I turned my car into the driveway, there’s Bosco in the window. My heart soared believing he waited expectantly to greet me.
After entering the house, I walked briskly to open the door to the room they stayed in. Bosco remained at the window and with dismay I understood why. His head, lodged between the slats of the vinyl blind, locked him in. He’d chewed through the slats, made a hole so he could look out.
Having no children, the husband, I, and Bosco were a threesome and playing with Bosco brought us together. In the last third of Bosco’s life, my husband’s job consumed his attention and time. His stress was off the charts, and we were emotionally disconnected.
I turned to Bosco for that and one other reason. At age 36, most women I knew were moms. Something I was not. At church, parties, or men’s softball games the women discussed their child’s school, sports, and the issues of parenting as I sat there silent, unable to add to the conversation.
Because of work, my husband was basically absent during Bosco’s last four months of life. His concern about the amount of money being spent on Bosco’s surgery and therapies erected an uncrossable bridge between us. He had no clue how Bosco comforted me and acted as an emotional support companion during those years.
He loved Bosco, but there were other priorities.
At Bosco’s passing, the void of his presence became unbearable as each day passed. Sometimes, I thought I heard his paws on the wood floor or a bark from another room. The separation felt cruel. Emotional pain seized my heart.
Pet love is as real as any love can be and the cause of anticipatory grief, anxiety, and post grief for pet parents. Sitting at their side, making special food, giving medications, buying special equipment, and paying for therapies is what you do for love.
The language barrier between you and them is frustrating. You ask yourself and even them, what do you want me to do for you?
There’s not only heartbreak as your fur friend’s life diminishes. Guilt, indecision, dread, and depression overwhelm the pet parent.
Twelve months before Bosco passed away, I pre-mourned, better known as anticipatory grief. Subconsciously, I thought it could ease the hurt and loss to come. At that time, I didn’t know this was as aspect of coping with loss for animals as well as humans.
If you add anticipatory grief to hypervigilance over your pet, you get pet caregiver burden and burnout.
How do you endure the difficult emotional path of anticipating a loss or losing a fur baby?
Here are a few tips.
First, grief has purpose and the grief response is unique to you. Before you manage the emotions, your mind and body have a need to move through the process, at least in part.
Second, anticipatory grief can be lonely but sharing your thoughts and emotions with a caring friend is helpful. I define a caring friend as one who values the love you have for your fur family member.
Be careful who you share your grief with. More than once I’ve shared my grief for Bosco and Shyla only to be told what I felt can’t compare to losing a human. Grief is grief. There are no qualifiers.
As your pet’s health declines, be present with your pet in the present. Focus on what you can do and enjoy with your pet in the present one day at time.
Before and after your pet passes, let yourself have grief days. Let the emotions play out. Take naps, cry, do the bare minimum. Forget about pushing through. Do what soothes your emotions and mind for that day.
You can join a chat room with the Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement. It’s a 501c3 to help you cope with grief.
Don’t suffer needlessly. Maybe you need a low dose antidepressant or anti-anxiety medication to carry you through the last few months of your pet’s life. Perhaps, counseling sessions with your pastor or a therapist.
Self-care is important. After several months of hypervigilance, your immunity will be depleted and your cortisol high. You need to place a focus on your health to avoid depression or susceptibility to illness.
My health deteriorated for six months after Bosco passed away because I hadn’t addressed my own health needs.
Be aware that the suppression of grief can turn into unprocessed grief and that will show up in other ways like anxiety, anger, or irritability.
There’s also an absent response to grief, which differs from unprocessed grief.
The absent grief response is the fog you walk through after a loss. It’s an emotional emptiness. This is your body and mind’s coping mechanism. Later, the grief emotion will resurface.
If possible, avoid replaying those last days of pet’s life. Consider it self-cruelty. Choose your memories carefully and look at pictures of your beloved in their prime. Thank God for their love of you and hold that close.
Love is love, whether for human or animal as is the grieving process. Let that love live in you along with the beautiful memories you hold in your heart and mind.
Share this podcast with someone who could use this support. References for this podcast are in the transcript. The link for the Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement is in the episode description.
Thank you for listening. Catch me on YouTube at Anchored Not Anxious. And visit my website, Anchorednotanxious.com.
Until next time,
https://therapyforpetpeople.com/blog/coping-with-anticipatory-grief-pet-loss
https://www.dvm360.com/view/understanding-anticipatory-grief-in-pet-owners
https://www.lapoflove.com/blog/pet-loss-support/how-to-deal-with-anticipatory-grief
